Adventures in Engrish - Trip 3
Sadly, the "El Paso's Biggest Dollar Store" is no more. It closed down several months ago, taking all of its Engrish goodness with it. Luckily, I was able to get one last set of pictures before they closed down for good. Let us have a moment of silence for the great treasure trove of Preeminent Car and Be Without Equal Racer. This third batch of photos doesn't come from any particular outing, and there are some Engrish pics from other locations as well.
El Paso's Biggest Dollar Store - final excursions
Beware of her evil twin, "Malignant Girl"! Appearing soon in an almost-Barbie aisle near you! A wannabe CD player that comes with a Fashionable CD. If you look to the right in the second image, you'll see a "Super Telephone" called "Naughty Boy", featuring a child wearing too much eyeliner and a notice that the phone has "Vogue" features. I don't get it.
Do you see what's wrong with this picture? The one on the left is, indeed, a calculator. The one on the right? It's a stopwatch. A stopwatch that doesn't include any kind of calculator functions.
What is the basketball prompting you to do? And why is there an oddly-placed number "0" underneath the Prompting? The world may never know. Note the "Golf Play Toys" on the right side. Play toys? What else do you do with them?
A simple typo that someone should have caught before production. This is the "Special Styles" Funnt Toys, with the text underneath saying something about "all kinds selected freely by you all styles are wonderful", very similar to what we've seen before. The set doesn't include the pictured toy rocket, but seems to have a slingshot, water balloons, and a single ping pong racket (what would you do with just one?) To the left, a toy inexplicably called "Sound" includes mini squirt guns with bowling pins and tiny plastic balls - a pretty weird combo, if you ask me.
This robot is '21 Century 100% All New Enter. Now featuring two functions: "Advance" and "Back Off". Not reverse, but "back off".
The first of a whole bunch of Engrish racers. For some reason, these companies just can't get the car language correct. So far, there have been more Engrish car toys than anything else. This offering is Powerful Vogue, the "super power device" with "fine motive power". Sorry, but when I hear "Vogue", I don't think cars. I think fashion magazines and Madonna videos. To the side you can see the "Speed Vehicle" that says something about 60 seconds (possibly a reference to "Gone in 60 Seconds"?)
Powerful Century, "Lead to the World". We've got the "Powerful" as above (with Vogue), but what do 100 years have to do with fast cars? Again, there is some unreadable text about many styles and colors available (never mind that we can plainly see the cars' colors through the packaging).
Finally, we've found the vehicle that no evil overlord should be without, the Power Overlord! I'm hoping they were going for "power overload" rather than "overlord". This toy features things like "modernity", "spectial devise" and "high speed". And only one out of those three is actually spelled correctly!
How can you pass this up? It has "moer styles foryour select"! As well as "Super Century Design". Again with the Century descriptor that makes no sense here. I don't know why we get eight tiny racecars and one mutant giant car that towers over the included palm tree and warning sign. I love Engrish toys.
I love the title of this product, the "knock up against restore car". What is up with the Engrish on toy cars, anyway? It's descriptive, if not grammatically correct (even though I have no idea what it really does). The text says "Crash It... Auto Rebuild!" The logos on the sides read "Sports" and "Caves". Caves?
1/7/07 - El Paso Discount Mall
The "Discount Mall" is part flea market, part farmers' market, and part Mercado (a Mexican indoor flea market). It's home to a LOT of unofficial and bootlegged products (including lots of ripoff super heroes), but not as much actual Engrish as the Dollar Stores. Many of the super hero toys come in multi-packs that include Batman, Superman, Spiderman, the Incredible Hulk, and Mr. Incredible. Sometimes they're labelled as "Super Hero Returns". One Superman toy actually had a Batman logo raised on his chest, but the "S" emblem painted (poorly) overtop.
Some Engrish favorites like the Gaolranger/Ranger Man (Power Ranger bootlegs), and the Super Sword-wielding Trans Former can be found here as well. Oh, and tons of Yu-Gi-Oh fake toys and cards.
They were doing so well on this one. I honestly thought this might be a legitimate product. The image artwork looked good. The colors weren't washed out. The text didn't read "Amusing FISH" like a similar toy I'd seen at the AAFES PX. No, the real problem with this one regards the figure in the center. Behold Nemo's buddy, the pastel Sudowoodo! While this rock Pokemon might be an interesting addition to a fishtank, this off-colored Pokemon does not belong in the Finding Nemo universe. So close, and yet so far.